Conservative head office has today said "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s.".

Speaking at Alton Towers Conservative head office’s comments come in a week that has seen Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum involved in pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals on an ever more frequent basis.

Conservative head office’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.