Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn admirers.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn admirers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Theresa May said of the Jeremy Corbyn admirers, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".