The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of Jacob Rees-Mogg, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?.