Eastern European terror gangs have been setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack the Mail can exclusively reveal.

How long can this political correctness gone mad be tolerated by British people?

Lala from the teletubbies said of Eastern European terror gangs, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets."

Eastern European terror gangs made no comment about the accusations when we didn’t ask.