The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to libraries, all of them involving hoodies.

In the glorious days of Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to libraries, but nowadays thanks to hoodies setting fire to libraries is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..