Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of hacking the Gibson has been perpetrated by hoodies.

The Mail can reveal that hoodies are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Bernard Jenkin said of the hoodies, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".