Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself has been perpetrated by cyber criminals.

The Mail can reveal that cyber criminals are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Nicolas Sarkozy said of the cyber criminals, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".