The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks, all of them involving chavs.

In the glorious days of Vince Cable, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks, but nowadays thanks to chavs threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is We are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense..