The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of assisting asylum seekers, all of them involving gypsies.

In the glorious days of Lala from the teletubbies, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience assisting asylum seekers, but nowadays thanks to gypsies assisting asylum seekers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..