Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Guardian-reading do-gooders have been being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Nicolas Sarkozy has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul): The True Face Of Evil", Nicolas Sarkozy says, "our prisons are like holiday camps.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for Guardian-reading do-gooders. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.