The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life, all of them involving so-called new age travellers.

In the glorious days of Norman Tebbit, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life, but nowadays thanks to so-called new age travellers plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is We are a grandmother.