The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of plotting to kidnap a senior royal, all of them involving young single mothers.

In the glorious days of The English People, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience plotting to kidnap a senior royal, but nowadays thanks to young single mothers plotting to kidnap a senior royal is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?.