Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of destabilising the British way of life has been perpetrated by hunt sabateours.

The Mail can reveal that hunt sabateours are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Norman Tebbit said of the hunt sabateours, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".