Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps have been hacking the Gibson outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Hacking the Gibson: The True Face Of Evil", Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells says, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.