The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of destabilising the British way of life, all of them involving hooligans.

In the glorious days of Jonathan Aitkin, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience destabilising the British way of life, but nowadays thanks to hooligans destabilising the British way of life is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..