I’m not racist but surely allowing paedophiles to flout our British way of life means that things have gone too far? Eating babies is just not British.

Some leftists will predictably argue that paedophiles aren’t eating babies in reality. But reality has a well known left-wing bias. Conservative head office agrees with me, saying today, "Hoorah for the blackshirts!".

Let’s kick out the sickos and reclaim our traditional British heritage.