The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack, all of them involving homosexuals.

In the glorious days of Anne Widdecombe, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack, but nowadays thanks to homosexuals setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids..