The Mail has learned that yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps are responsible for sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone.

Has the world gone mad? Yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps are sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to The Pope, who said "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!"