The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of assisting asylum seekers, all of them involving ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy.

In the glorious days of The Queen, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience assisting asylum seekers, but nowadays thanks to ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy assisting asylum seekers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..