Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of getting away with arson has been perpetrated by the Unions.

The Mail can reveal that the Unions are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Theresa May said of the the Unions, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".