Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of burning policemen at the stake has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn fans.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn fans are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Theresa May said of the Jeremy Corbyn fans, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".