The Mail has learned that Guardian-reading do-gooders are responsible for smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself.

Has the world gone mad? Guardian-reading do-gooders are smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Theresa May, who said "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?"