The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of reading the works of Karl Marx, all of them involving criminal gangs from Eastern Europe.

In the glorious days of The English People, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience reading the works of Karl Marx, but nowadays thanks to criminal gangs from Eastern Europe reading the works of Karl Marx is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..