Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Glue-sniffing teenagers have been selling heroin to the unions outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Some bloke in the pub has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Selling heroin to the unions: The True Face Of Evil", Some bloke in the pub says, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for glue-sniffing teenagers. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.