Enviro-Mental-ists have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals the Mail can exclusively reveal.

How long can this political correctness gone mad be tolerated by British people?

The Queen said of enviro-Mental-ists, "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s."

Enviro-Mental-ists made no comment about the accusations when we didn’t ask.