The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of urinating on the Union Jack, all of them involving homosexuals.

In the glorious days of Anne Widdecombe, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience urinating on the Union Jack, but nowadays thanks to homosexuals urinating on the Union Jack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Our prisons are like holiday camps..