The Mail has learned that bleeding heart liberals are responsible for pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals.

Has the world gone mad? Bleeding heart liberals are pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to an unnamed source, who said "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals."