Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Miners, bent on revenge have been urinating on the Union Jack outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Urinating on the Union Jack: The True Face Of Evil", The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police says, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for miners, bent on revenge. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.