Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow asylum seekers such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but asylum seekers have this week been revealed as squatting houses left empty by families on holiday.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps asylum seekers would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Angela Merkel who this week said, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is acceptable behaviour.