Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow paedophiles such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but paedophiles have this week been revealed as binge drinking on council estates.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps paedophiles would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Some bloke in the pub who this week said, "I like sponge".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that binge drinking on council estates is acceptable behaviour.