The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, all of them involving the unions.

In the glorious days of Jeremy Clarkson, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, but nowadays thanks to the unions squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening..