Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Al Qu’aeda bosses have been drilling for oil in one family's back garden outside nursery schools.

Terror expert The Queen has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Drilling for oil in one family's back garden: The True Face Of Evil", The Queen says, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for Al Qu’aeda bosses. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.