Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of listening to loud music has been perpetrated by insane Brussels bureaucrats.

The Mail can reveal that insane Brussels bureaucrats are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Paul Dacre said of the insane Brussels bureaucrats, "I grew up in the 1930s with an unemployed father. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for work, and he went on looking until he found it.".