Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow Eastern European terror gangs such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but Eastern European terror gangs have this week been revealed as engaging in steamy sex romps.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps Eastern European terror gangs would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Nick Clegg who this week said, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that engaging in steamy sex romps is acceptable behaviour.