The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of training in Al-Quaeda terror camps, all of them involving miners, bent on revenge.

In the glorious days of Michael Howerd, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience training in Al-Quaeda terror camps, but nowadays thanks to miners, bent on revenge training in Al-Quaeda terror camps is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..