The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of engaging in steamy sex romps, all of them involving cyber criminals.

In the glorious days of David Cameron, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience engaging in steamy sex romps, but nowadays thanks to cyber criminals engaging in steamy sex romps is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..