The Mail has learned that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are responsible for plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life.

Has the world gone mad? Anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are plotting the overthrow both of the British state and our way of life with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police, who said "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids."