Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping so-called migrants has been perpetrated by followers of Hugo Chavez.

The Mail can reveal that followers of Hugo Chavez are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Anne Widdecombe said of the followers of Hugo Chavez, "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s.".