Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of fighting the poilce has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn fans.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn fans are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Richard Littlejohn said of the Jeremy Corbyn fans, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".