Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of injecting crack into primary school children has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Amanda Platell said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".