The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of injecting crack into primary school children, all of them involving followers of Hugo Chavez.

In the glorious days of An unnamed source, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience injecting crack into primary school children, but nowadays thanks to followers of Hugo Chavez injecting crack into primary school children is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..