Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow gypsies such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but gypsies have this week been revealed as being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul).

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps gypsies would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of Boris Johnson who this week said, "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) is acceptable behaviour.