The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of looting and pillaging supermarkets, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience looting and pillaging supermarkets, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders looting and pillaging supermarkets is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids..