The Mail has learned that hoodies are responsible for helping so-called migrants.

Has the world gone mad? Hoodies are helping so-called migrants with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Nicolas Sarkozy, who said "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets."