Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow chavs such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but chavs have this week been revealed as eating babies.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps chavs would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of The Pope who this week said, "I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that eating babies is acceptable behaviour.