Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Gangs of children, some still in their prams have been terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Ian Dunkin-Donuts has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village: The True Face Of Evil", Ian Dunkin-Donuts says, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for gangs of children, some still in their prams. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.