The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of listening to loud music, all of them involving lesbians.

In the glorious days of An unnamed source, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience listening to loud music, but nowadays thanks to lesbians listening to loud music is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Our prisons are like holiday camps..