Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of getting away with arson has been perpetrated by Noam Chomsky devotees.

The Mail can reveal that Noam Chomsky devotees are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells said of the Noam Chomsky devotees, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".