Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping so-called migrants has been perpetrated by cyberterrorists.

The Mail can reveal that cyberterrorists are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Jacob Rees-Mogg said of the cyberterrorists, "If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened".