The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of injecting crack into primary school children, all of them involving glue-sniffing teenagers.

In the glorious days of The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience injecting crack into primary school children, but nowadays thanks to glue-sniffing teenagers injecting crack into primary school children is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.